Fuck Tom Daley

If one thing was annoying about the olympics (apart from everyone going on about 'Team GB') it was that little shit Tom Daley. Yeah, we did really well, John Major was a clever boy and the British dominate at sitting down. But I wanna see that little cunt do what Dana Kunze can do. In fact all the diving events can take a leaf out of Dana's book. Just check the joker out; he actually bothered 'training' for this dive. Looks like he spends the rest of his time geeting 'tanked with his bro's'...what a role model. He's great...

In other news, Ruffhousing scribe Thomas Trouble has been experiencing unrivalled backlash since he started fronting a band more annoyingly optimistic than CBBC's Balamory - Noah and the Whale.

The Ting Tings are cunts. And Brian Eno wrote the start up music for Windows '95.

Out

I'm Off Any Minute

This is the first part of the BBC Radio series 'Why Bother?' featuring conversations between Chris Morris and Peter Cook (as Arthur Streeb-Greebling). All five episodes are on youtube and all five episodes are absolutely brilliant. There's an extremely lengthy, but generally quite interesting, interview with Chris Morris about the experience of working with Peter Cook here. The highlight of this first one, for me, is Cook discussing Betty Grable's legs and then going on to refer to Eric Clapton as a "pathetic individual".

You Might Get A Free Haircut

Why - WHY - would anyone want to bring Brutus 'The Barber' Beefcake (who's now, I would assume, in his early fifties) to their town, state or high school? He almost certainly lives alone in a damp flat, dividing his time between microwaving ready meals and standing naked in front of the mirror, shears to his throat, weeping quietly.

We're having a party.

EVIL INCARNATE

"The other shape, if shape it might be called, that shape had none, Distinguishable in member, joint, or limb; Or substance might be called that shadow seemed; For each seemed either; black it stood as night, Fierce as ten furies, terrible as Hell, And shook a dreadful dart; what seemed his head The likeness of a kingly crown had on. Satan was now at hand; and from his seat The monster, moving onward, came as fast With horrid strides; Hell trembled as he strode"

(Paradise Lost, Book II)

Replace the "he's" with "she's" and Milton pretty much hit the nail on the head here.

Think soccer ain't a sport?

Continuing with our fine tradition of championing rapping footballers (or, for that matter, footballing rappers), here's Clint Dempsey (aka 'Deuce') with 'Don't Tread'.