The Importance of Being John

“I have known several Jacks, and they all, without exception, were more than usually plain. Besides, Jack is a notorious domesticity for John! And I pity any woman who is married to a man called John. She would probably never be allowed to know the entrancing pleasure of a single moment's solitude.” (Gwendolen, Act One: 'The Importance of Being Earnest' by Oscar Wilde)

Oscar Wilde knew a great deal about a great many things, and his wit and wisdom can be found in nearly every form of literary prose: novels, plays, those little books of humourous quotes you pick up in the queue at Waterstone's, then you put down again because you think 'I'll never actually read this', but then you end up buying in the end because you've already spent quite a lot and you think 'well, £1.99 more isn't going to kill me, and even if I don't read it, it'll make a good stocker filler for a nephew or the child of a distant friend'. My point is that, while there may have been very little that Oscar didn't know, his views on the name 'John' – as expressed through the character Gwendolen in this quote from 'The Importance of Being Earnest', above – could not be more misguided.

The name John (and its many variations – Jon, Jonathan, Johnny, Neil) carries with it a musical legacy that goes beyond the obvious candidates (John Lennon, Jon Bon Jovi, Johnny Cash, Neil Morrissey) and includes some of the most underrated artists and musicians ever known.


MOZART

The year 1756 saw the first recorded intertwining of great music and the name John with the birth of composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, originally christened Johnk Amadeus Mozart (as is common in all Austrian names, the 'K' is silent). Mozart's parents, Kakkka and Ekkkkek, decided shortly after young Johnk's first musical composition (aged just 3) that his name “wasn't punchy enough” to get noticed in the burgeoning Viennese scene, and had him re-christened at age 4 under the name 'Wolfgang'.

This event had deep-seated psychological effects upon the composer and right up until his death in 1791, Mozart was still unable to look anyone called John directly in the eye, unless they were female.


JONATHAN RICHMAN

From these shameful origins, the name John has gone on to belong to some of the finest musicians of the previous century and they have all publically acknowledged their debt and gratitude. Jonathan Richman has been quoted in various interviews as saying that he owes his talent solely to his first name, and – at a concert in 1970 - Creedence Clearwater Revival's John Fogerty famously ordered anyone not called John to leave the arena immediately and drown themselves in the nearest well.


JOHN HOLT

However, despite the glory attached to it, the name has a shady past. In the mid-seventies – at the peak of roots reggae's success – the name John provoked dark and terrible events within the genre so famous for promoting peace and love. On the evening of March 16th, 1976, Johnny Clarke, Johnny Osbourne and Johnny Moore (three of reggae's most prominent Johnnys) kidnapped rising roots star John Holt outside his Kingston home. For three days and three nights, Holt was held against his will by the three men, who – driven insane with resentment at the simplicity of his classic version of the sacred title – threatened to commit acts upon his body unless he joined them in adding an 'ny' to the end of his first name. By the fourth day, Holt – bruised, starving and missing a kidney – surrendered to his captors' wishes and became 'Johnny'. He continued to record and release material but his record sales were badly affected as consumers found the name change 'too complicated', and within 6 months, he was dropped from his label.

While the 'ny' suffix didn't work for Holt (he turned to drink and was found dead in a bar in 1981 after a fist fight with a hen), it has been commercially viable for many other musical Johnnys; Cash, Rotten, Thunders, Marr to name but a few.

So, there you have it: while Oscar Wilde would have us believe that the name 'John' has “very little music to it at all”, the list of classic artists bearing the name proves him very, very wrong.

Some notable musical Johns:

John Coltrane, Johnny Clarke, Jonathan Richman, Johnny Cash, John Frusciante, Johnny Thunders, John Hartford, John French (drummer of Captain Beefheart's Magic Band), Johnny Osbourne, John Holt, John Lee Hooker, John Lennon, John Mayall, John Fogerty, Johnny Marr, Johnny Moore, Johnny Mathis, John Cale.

Top 5: Hip Hop Concept Albums

Right, there hasn’t been a Top 5 on ruffhousing for a while and this particular one has always been a subject of lukewarm debate for us middle class white individuals – the Top 5 hip hop concept albums.

Now you could say all hip hop albums are concept albums of sort – the concept being guns and bitches. But then you’d probably be an utter cunt, having a slow, tearful wank whilst listening to The View… Over the years there have been some damn fine hip hop albums that have managed to hold down a ‘thought provoking’ concept over the length of a Long Player… here are my favourite/the best –


1. De La Soul – 3ft high and rising (Tommy Boy, 1989)



Now to be perfectly honest with you this isn’t a concept album at all, but every twat and his brother says it’s the first hip hop concept album. The reason for this is the loose radio station quiz theme that pops up between tracks but there isn’t a theme running through the tracks and not even a presenter to intro them. So basically it isn’t a concept album, right? Good! And anyway, too much as already been written about this album…

Well, what a start eh? I’ve just started a list of hip hop concept albums with an album that I don’t even consider to be one – oh how enigmatic of me…it doesn’t matter though as it forms a lovely link to the next one in the list, which is quite clearly the greatest hip hop concept album of all time…


2. Prince Paul – Prince Among Thieves (Tommy Boy, 1999)



Oh yes peeps! When it comes to ticking boxes of what makes a concept album this one ticks them all – what those boxes are though, I have no idea, but let’s just consider them ticked.

The album tells the story of Tariq (Breezly Brewin) and True (Big Sha). Tariq is trying to get a demo ready to show to the Wu and needs the cash to do it, so True helps him out with a slice of his hustle. But are his good deeds fuelled by a veiled jealousy? Oh the drama! Oh the suspense! Oh the beats! Yes yes, y’all, the beats are fucking killer! Prince Paul is an all time classic-hero-mega-producer in the same vein as Primo, Dr Dre etc, and even he out does himself here. There really isn’t a weak beat on the album. They all bounce like mad with the Prince’s own idiosyncratic style, and couple this with the insane cast he ropes in to assist it really is creamy boxers time (or sticky knickers time if you own a fanny). Notable cameo’s come from Everlast (who lays down as awesome verse as a racist bent cop), Big Daddy Kane (who plays the awesome pimp, Count Mackula, ‘If you got 36 prostitutes and 30 cents in yo pocket, what you got? Proof that ho’s come a-dime-a-dozen, baby’) and De La Soul (as a bunch of crackheads).

If you listen to any album that Prince Paul has been involved in you’ll know his (sometimes very annoying) love of skits and this album is where he gets all those funny little things off his chest in one big ball of absolutely peerless hip hop story telling phlegm – a stone cold certified classic!


3. The Goats – Tricks of the Shade (Ruff House, 1992)



‘The Goats? Who are they?’

‘Exactly!’

Well, for a start they aren’t Accrington bloody Stanley! They’re a quality hip hop group from Philly, comprising of a white boy, Latino and a Negro – and with a political bent to-boot! If you haven’t heard them imagine 3rd Bass spitting Public Enemy lyrics over DJ Muggs’ beats – tasty eh?

Tricks of the Shade is the better of their two albums and fortunately enough, for this list at least, happens to be a concept album. The record tells the story of Hanger Head and his big bro (Chicken Little) and their search for Uncle Scam, via Chris Columbus…basically it’s an allegory of how minorities have been fucked by white America from the country’s inception. The beats are sick and bass line driven with lots of nice horn stabs and live instrumentation and such (typical ’92 fayre). While the lyrics and flows are kept to a high standard throughout. This really is a little slept on classic and worthy of inclusion on any hip hop list.

The individual tracks don’t tell the story of the albums protagonists themselves, this is left to the skits, but most of them do cover the themes touched on in the story. In many ways this is a good thing because it allows individual tracks to function in isolation without feeling like unfinished pieces of a story. While also working as a cracking little concept album.

The album’s also on the Columbia subsidiary, Ruff House, which keeps it close to the hearts of the boys here at Ruffhousing…


4. Mr. Lif – I Phantom (Definitive Jux, 2002)



Hmm, Def Jux eh? The home of annoying, whingeing geek rap? Not so peeps and this album is one of several reasons why not; it’s also Mr. Lif’s best album to date.

Now Mr. Lif is an intelligent man, but you should hold that against him. He’s also got a few issues - modern life being one of them. In I Phantom he plays the role of a struggling MC and want-a-way father with a soulless office job. A role he handles with great aplomb.

The beats duties are mainly handled by El-P with contributions from Insight, Edan and Fakts One. This little cast does a great job of creating a dense yet bouncy atmosphere on the album – just what you’d expect from a Lif and El-P helmed project. The final track, ‘Post Mortem’, is definitely worthy of individual mention as it takes a look at the aftermath of a nuclear holocaust, with guest verses from El-P, Jean Grae and Akrobatik.

Even if you don’t generally like Def Jux releases this album is definitely for checking out, as every about it oozes quality and thought.


5. MF Doom – MM Food (Rhymesayers, 2004)



MF Doom – totally surreal and totally badass. The bloke plays by his own roles – more albums a year than most MCs drop in a life time, and under more pseudonyms than there are species of oak (to none arborists, that’s a lot).

This was Mr Dumile’s first album under his MF Doom name since his classic debut, Operation: Doomsday! And although it isn’t in the same league as that it really is a little cracker…oh and if you haven’t already guessed the theme is food…

The first track is called ‘Beef Rapp’ which sets the pace for the rest of the album perfectly…lots of tongue twistingly, bizarre rhymes about food and drink over rugged, banging little beats. Other high lights are ‘One Beer’ and ‘Kon Karne’…mm tasty, oh and the quality single ‘Hoe Cakes’ – ‘Super!’

That is all…

Apart from this…


Honourable Mention: Smut Peddlers – Porn again (Rawkus, 2001)



It does exactly what it says on the tin…


Upon finishing this piece, it has come to my attention that all of these albums also have high quality art work.

That really is all.


STYLEZ OUT

Behind The Scenes: Outsider Music

Outsider Music is much like punching a nun in the head; quite funny. In this week's episode of Radio 4's Behind The Scenes, Jonathan Wasteman and the team take a look at the oddball phenomenon that's currently sweeping the music industry.

Check the Ruffhousing podcasts or player above to hear it innit.

Grime Rant

It's time people, time for a change.

Grime, it's out there but it's quite simply not in here...



...my bedroom that is. Well there is some but no way near enough. I want albums people, motherfucking albums! Not shoddily put togther mixtapes with a few verses taped off the radio or supposed 'exclusives'...give me albums!

Now I don't wanna start naming names because you know who you are, and I know for a fact mans like Tinchy read this shit...but why can't you all me more like Dizzee or Roll Deep? Hell, do a Wu-Tang and shake things up with some revolutionary deals, cus this self released stuff just doesn't really cut it. I mean look at Sway, he was supposed to be 'IT' and all that saved him from total embarassment was distribution - so at least sort that out. Do you know how much grime is commercially available outside of London? - Not much...thank god for Channel U and the internet!

Here's my challenge to 90% of grime acts with actual talent - put down your blunts, put down your gun fingers, quit 'shottin' to your boys and start actually gettin' you arse to this 'grind' you're always on about! Make a cohesive album, an album with themes beyond the stereotypical scope - that I can't even be bothered to go into - put on your sunday best and sell it (and yourself - obviously without compromising your 'artistic integrity') to a label. Please, even if its just so I can listen to it...

Rant over (well it's not really, I had to cut it short cus my laptop was suffering and I didn't want to start any beef...)

STYLEZ OUT

Buju Banton Interview

Reggae Dancehall legend Buju Banton is given a grilling about the genre's violent reputation by Radio 4 & Behind The Scene's Simon Bumbaclart

Take a look at the Ruffhousing podcast site to hear it: www.ruffhousing.podomatic.com