Tuesday, October 17, 2006

DIRTY CANVAS AT THE I.C.A. – 14th October 2006


THE MOVEMENT – L.MAN – KODE 9 – LOGAN SAMA – DJ MAGIC

Grime is defined in the Oxford English Dictionary thus:

(1) grime (n) - Dirt or soot, usually accumulated in a black layer or ingrained into a surface
(2) (vt) to coat something with dirt or soot
(3) (n) The type of music made by Flirta D.

“Grime”, said Oscar Wilde, “is like a wounded fawn in a dappled orchard: unlikely to win any MOBOs”. While Oscar’s views on music have been treated with little to no respect since his declaration that “Slim Thug is better than Dickens”, his point remains valid. With the exception of Dizzee Rascal – and possibly Kano, although both his album and mixtape suggest that hip hop is where his true passion lies – most grime artists remain firmly underground with little hope of seeing commercial light of day any time soon.

This is why Dirty Canvas’ relocation from Whitechapel Art Gallery to the heart of American picture-postcard London – between Admiralty Arch and Buckingham Palace at the ICA – represents one small step for Murkle Man and one giant leap for Murkle Mankind. Yes, while it may not quite be picture-postcard material itself, it was born and bred right here in the Big Smoke and now, thanks to the ICA and Dirty Canvas, Grime has made it to within spitting distance of her Majesty herself.

As London's only night dedicated solely to Grime, Dirty Canvas will always be the main port of call for all afficionados of the genre, and with line-ups as strong as this one, it may become responsible for converting many more. N.A.A’s L Man was up first and, in front of a sparse circle of early arrivals, he still managed a great showcase. Interspersing his own grime tunes with two excellent freestyles – one accapella and one over a Biggie beat – he made the best of a difficult opening slot and proved that he is certainly one to watch in future.

Dubstep supremo Kode 9 was next to step up and, despite the stark contrast between the ICA’s brilliantly bright walls and the tomb-like darkness that visitors to FWD at Plastic People might associate with the genre, his set was one of the night’s many hightlights.

Finally, Ghetto, Scorcher and Wretch 32 – better known as The Movement – took up position behind Logan Sama to a riotous flurry of gun fingers. While Wretch and Scorcher were very consistent and dropped some decent bars, the set belonged to Ghetto. His presence, delivery and actual lyrical ability is genuinely unmatched in the grime scene at the moment and it seems unbelievable that he is still best known to most people as simply one of Kano’s closest collaborators. A few more performances like this one, however, should ensure him the limelight he deserves.



During an old skool garage set by Plastician at Dirty Canvas’ first night at the ICA on 9th September, the host, G Double of West London’s Renegade Boys, asked the crowd “who really remembers where this music came from?”. However, while much of the music played at the event may help explain exactly how grime came about, the question that Dirty Canvas really raises, in its relocation to The Mall, is where is it going next? In many ways, this new setting reflects the scene's current climate perfectly; where better to house a genre that so prides itself on its 'Britishness' (see Bruza, Lady Sovereign or even Dizzee’s Anglo-similies on tracks like ‘Fix Up Look Sharp’ and Roll Deep’s ‘Bounce’) than sandwiched between landmarks like Trafalgar Square and Buckingham Palace?

Furthermore, while recent mainstream media representations of the new millenium's British 'Urban' scene - most prominently the film 'Kidulthood' and the Channel 4 television series 'Dubplate Drama' - might condition viewers to believe that the ICA's clinically clean white walls, majestically lofty ceilings and excellently-priced white wine combine to create something of an unrealistic portayal of the true grittiness of Grime music, they couldn't be more wrong. While the illegal raves, MC clashes and pirate radio sessions that the music was built on are notorious for their supreme squalor (many of the scene's most famous battles have taken place in Jammer's own cramped, graffiti-strewn basement), outside the East London flats where it was born, Grime is a very different animal indeed. The more mainstream Grime crowds generally transcend race, class and gender and - thanks partly to the genre's support from current trend-setters like Diplo, M.I.A. and even Mike Skinner - at legitimate club nights like Dirty Canvas, you will usually find roll-up-smoking, angular-haired Hoxton street artistes happily throwing shapes next to scowling, gun-finger-toting hooded teenagers.

In other words, despite what it might say on the HMV Store Guide, Grime just isn't very 'Urban' any more. Dirty Canvas' greatest achievement, in setting up shop at the ICA, is that far from abhorring this fact, they exhibit both intelligence and maturity by accepting and accommodating for it while never once compromising the music's integrity. Looking down from the balcony onto the makeshift dancefloor below and watching fashionably dishevelled mullets swim contently in and out of black New Era caps as Ghetto incites another mini mosh pit, it strikes me not only that this is about as clear a representation of Grime music as you could hope to find in 2006 but that, much more importantly, everybody is enjoying themselves. Go and have a look.

Monday, October 16, 2006

whole heap of fuckery



SINGLE REVIEWS WITH SIZZLA, TOM WAITS and CAPTAIN BEEFHEART.

1. LLOYD BANKS ft. 50 CENT - Hands Up (Interscope)

WAITS: Who the fuck buys this stuff?
SIZZLA: I didn't think it was that bad.
WAITS: I've never known anyone in G Unit to do anything original, ever.
BEEFHEART: Jane Eyre was quite original at the time.
WAITS: Jane Eyre is by Charlotte Bronte.
BEEFHEART: I know. I'm just saying, Jane Eyre was pretty original when it was published.
SIZZLA: The simple fact is, like everything, this is a question of taste. If you like what G Unit are about, then you'll like this single.
WAITS: That's so fucking typical of you, Sizzla. You're such a fence-sitter.
SIZZLA: What does that mean?
WAITS: You know exactly what it means.
SIZZLA: If this is about Sarah, just come out and say it.
WAITS: OK, it's about Sarah.
SIZZLA: You're pathetic, you know that.
WAITS: I'M pathetic? This is coming from someone who actively encourages 'fire pon chi chi men'?
SIZZLA: That was a long time ago, Tom. You're out of order bringing that up.
BEEFHEART: Perhaps we should get back to the single.
SIZZLA: Perhaps we should.
WAITS: OK, well it's Eminem on production which doesn't exactly fill one with hope.
SIZZLA: Meaning what?
WAITS: Well, he's a great rapper but I don't have a huge amount of respect for him as a producer.
SIZZLA: The problem with reviewing this G Unit stuff is that, like you said, it's fairly interchangeable. This is a good pop hip hop song; it's bouncy, it's catchy, some of Banks' MCing is better than you might think-
BEEFHEART: Yeah, there's some double and triple syllable rhyming in the second verse.
SIZZLA: Exactly. And to top it all off, it's got Fiddy drooling all over the chorus. As I said before, if you're all about G Unit you'll love this, but I doubt it will convert any non-believers.

3/5

THE STREETS ft. Leo the Lion, Skepta, Ghetto, Tinchy Stryder, Wretch 32 etc etc - Prangin Out (REMIX) (679/The Beats)

BEEFHEART: Well, this is going to cause problems, isn't it?
WAITS: You all know where I stand here.
BEEFHEART: At the end of the day, you can't fault Mike Skinner on two fronts: firstly, he has the foresight and sheer drive to put out one of these grime remixes for pretty much every single he releases and secondly, he clearly knows what he's doing because he always chooses the best. Think about the list of MCs that have been on his and the Mitchell Brothers' remixes. You've got Kano, Lady Sovereign, Bruza, D Double E, Tinchy Stryder, most of Roll Deep, JME, Bearman and now Skepta and Ghetto. That's a pretty good roster.
WAITS: What about Jammer, Wiley and Dizzee?
SIZZLA: I think he asked them on for this one but it clashed with the Chelsea Flower Show. Jammer was judging the shrubs.
BEEFHEART: Jammer can judge my shrubs any day, if you know what I mean.
WAITS: What do you mean?
BEEFHEART: I mean I've got three or four shrubs and I'd really value his opinion on them.
WAITS: Oh right.
SIZZLA: Well to get back to this single, I agree that the people he gets on his tunes are always very good - and the fact is, it's a great platform for up and coming MCs that you probably wouldn't get to see anywhere else. I've been watching Devilman for a while and it's nice to see him finally get some recognition.
BEEFHEART: I genuinely think the beat isn't bad either. Skinner gets a lot of stick for his beats being too simple and sounding the same but at least he's got a sound. Most producers spend their whole lives wishing they could break the mould and coin a certain sound of their own.
WAITS: I'm not arguing that it's not very much his own sound, I'm arguing that it's just not very good.
SIZZLA: I've got to disagree there, I'm afraid. I really like it. It's so grinding and urgent and that sums up the mood of the track perfectly. I think Skinner has hit the nail on the head here.
BEEFHEART: Hear, hear.
WAITS: I'm going to give it three out of five.
BEEFHEART: I'll give it four.
SIZZLA: Yeah, four from me too.

4/5

day in the dizzle


STUMPY D'S DIARY: OCTOBER 16 2006

4.55am Awake early after bad dreams. Usual Foskett stuff but capped by final one where I am trapped under the udder of a large cow. Suckling. Relieved to find sheets dry; perhaps the bad thing is slowly disappearing.

6.32am Jolted out of watery sleep by more horrific nightmares. Still under the udder but not suckling. Queue is too long.

7.14am Laundrette with sheets.

8.31am Phone call from Mum. My first for weeks. She sounds worried after I confess thoughts of suicide, but seems more concerned with talking about Sheila from the pool who is pregnant at 51. i mime shock and feign interest but i am more engrossed with my own problems. buy milk for ricicles but cow dream is still fresh in my mind; have half a grapefruit instead.

9.00am Quick cry.

10.10am Phone call from Boonsie. Westwood interview has been pushed back to 10pm tonight. I ask what he is doing up so early and he confesses smugly that he hasn't been bed. he claims to have been up all night with a 22 year old Swedish girl, but seems to have forgotten that 3g is video phone and i can quite clearly see a naked, semi-aroused man massaging his back.

12.00am Lunch alone at Pizza Hut. Use vouchers; 30% off ice cream factory.

12.34am Have just measured myself and am delighted to find that I have grown three inches since Tuesday! Maybe things are looking up for the Dizzle!

12.37am Have just realised i was wearing heels. i have not grown an inch.

12.38am Racked with paranoia about the heels. Have i had them on all day and not noticed? must be more careful in future.

1.45pm Soundclash. i feel as if i am losing my feel for these things. three out five soundboys murked and seven riddims pulled up, though. not bad going i suppose. plus i rained a fair amount of fire pon babylon before leaving.

2.50pm Outside Wayne Foskett's house; in the rose bed. I wished he hadn't cut back the rhodedenrum - it was far comfier. watch him for a while before finally getting up the confidence to make a threatening phone call. lose my nerve when he answers and ask if John is there. fate deals me another in a long line of blows to the face as it turns out Wayne's dad is called John. He gets him and i am forced to listen to a forty five minute anecdote about the time John spent in 1971 with a venetian prostitute called Marta. he never once asks who i am or why i am calling. end up arranging to meet him for a drink later; it is the only way i can get him off the phone.

4.21pm At the studio. Wil E Coyote, Lego Man and Dooza want me to trow down 16 on their new riddim 'Molest Dem'. Coyote is strangely subdued and I find out from Lee, the sound engineer, that he has been charged for possession of and intent to sell class A drugs. This is really worrying, as the sentence can be up to Fourteen years. as we are all leaving, coyote asks me to hold onto a large bag of flour that he has brought with him; i accept obviously - he is a great mate.

4.23pm Coyote, the idiot, leaves without remebering to get the flour off me! what an idiot! i call him and tell him, but he says i can hang onto it for a while if i like. what do i want with a bag of flour?

6.29pm Measure myself. still no growth. anywhere. if you know what i mean.

6.31pm I meant my genitals.

9.01pm Back home after drink in the Dog & Duck pub with John Foskett. He's actually not that bad a guy. it bewilders me how his son turned out to be the anti-christ.

9.31pm After a quick cry, Boonsie picks me up to go to Radio 1 off Great Portland Street. Meet Moira Stewart on the way in and get her autograph. I ask her if she is here often for BBC news but it turns out that she has come in to throw down a quick freestyle for westwood.

10.59pm Boonsie, Westwood and I head to a local curry house to wind down after the interview. it went fairly well, except Boonsie - who is older than he looks - kept getting faulklands flashbacks due to Westwood's constant bomb sfx. i have lamb bhuna, boonise has prawn korma and westwood has egg and chips. he claims he "can't stand these foreign bastards and their odd food".

12.03am Prison. Returned home to find armed police raiding my house and taking photos of my heels. Coyote, whose favourite star wars character is Lando Calrissian, is there too, having tipped øff the boy dem. I am still not quite sure with what i am being charged but the flour is gone and so are my sheets.

12.05am Just remembered, sheets are at laundrette. Have to pick them up tomorrow.

For more on Stumpy D, check www.myspace.com/stumpydizzle ya bumba bludclat