Stylez came to our attention during a trip up to Birmingham whereupon we noticed him shanking wildly in WH Smith. When he seemed to have calmed down – and the ambulances had dispatched his two elderly victims - we approached him and asked if he was interested in contributing to our blog. His eyes seemed to say 'Yes, absolutely!' but his mouth said 'Fuck off and leave me alone', so we were forced to pursue him along the street for roughly 45 minutes until, eager to get rid of us, he reluctantly agreed.
Now, with his first post under his belt (not literally) he is truly part of the musical/satirical/digital behemoth that is Ruffhousing. Brummie Stylez, we salute you.
Anyway, back to the post in hand. Recently, there has been a great deal written in the media about the negative influence that music may be having on the youth of today. Certainly, with the recent incarceration of grime MC Crazy Titch following his part in the murder of a rival crew member who had 'dissed' his brother, Durrty Goodz, the promotion of gun violence, criminal behaviour and general nastiness has never been more controversial. It is of paramount importance that music celebrating these activities is not encouraged or condoned, especially by young people in the poorer areas of Britain.
However, here at Ruffhousing, we are middle class. I, for example, get my butternut squash from a local farmer's market, take a weekly pilates class and rarely watch ITV1. So, since the media seems to be solely concerned with the effect that violent and unpleasant music may have on the working classes, it is all well and good for us to present to you our top 5 songs promoting dangerous, horrific, deplorable and violent behaviour!
We will be looking at 5 different categories here: Gun Violence, Drugs, Morality, Criminal Behaviour and Sexism/Mistreatment of women. So, come on, let's do this!
1. GUN VIOLENCE
Vybz Kartel – Bus Mi Tool
This category was only ever going to won by a dancehall artist, although The Lighthouse Family's 'Lifted' did get an early look in. 'Bus Mi Tool' is a glorious celebration of all things gat-related. Kartel begins the song by claiming, “me nah trust me mother, nah me father, nah me gyal like how me trust me gun”; an emotion that I think we can all relate to in this fickle age we live in. One of the best aspects of this track is that, unlike so many other gun tunes, Vybz does not – at any point – attempt to apologise for, or condemn, his obvious love of busting shots. From his confession that as “me wake and brush me teeth, me haf fi bus mi gun” to his reminiscing over halcyon days gone by when he had only a “paper gun” to play with, this is truly one man's love letter to a cold, metal killing machine. Much of the song is made up of Kartel's descriptions of various different guns that he owns and from the “day-breaker gun” that his butler brings him in the morning, to “the vagina gun” he uses to “shot” “pussy bwoys”, they are all comedy gold. In fact, during the second verse, Vybz's passion for the humble gat becomes almost too much for him to bear as he cries, “more time me think seh I'm a gun”; this is quite clearly a man on the brink not only of a violent episode, but also of some sort of schizophrenic attack. Say what you will about the negative promotion of gun crime on this track: at least it's negative promotion from the HEART.
2. DRUGS
The Heartbreakers – Chinese Rocks
Drugs, as we all know, are bad. But are they? Are they really? Yes, they are. However, on 'Chinese Rocks', Thunders, Hell et al manage to transform all the dirt, squalor and grime of heroin addiction into a slightly more glamorous and appealing package, without really losing any of the original dirt, squalor and grime. 'The plastic's falling off the wall', sings Richard Hell, “my girlfriend's crying in the shower stall/It's hot as a bitch/I should have been rich/But I'm just lying in a Chinese ditch”. It's all so seedy and sticky and sad but at the same time, there's something very attractive about it; perhaps because, while Hell is essentially complaining about the situation that the 'Chinese Rock' has got him into, he never really expresses any desire in the song to change his ways. This is, quite simply, a fantastic song and it goes a long way towards confirming what we've known all along: taking heroin is a good idea.
3. CRIMINAL BEHAVIOUR
Big L – Lifestylez Of Da Poor & Dangerous
No type of journalistic interpretation of this song could ever do its unapologetic violent brilliance justice so I will simply transcribe it as if it were an interview.
Ruffhousing: What's your name?
L: My name is L
Ruffhousing: Where you from?
L: I'm from a part of town where clowns get beat down and all you hear is gun shot sounds.
Ruffhousing: What happens at night time?
L: At night time, niggas try to tax. They sneakier than alley cats; that's why I carry gats.
Ruffhousing: How would you describe yourself?
L: I'm a motherfucking fugitive. Buck-wild and foul is the lifestyle that I choose to live.
L goes on to explain how he and his friend Chuck use to “stalk the city” essentially robbing and abusing people. The culmination of this anecdote is that, having “stuck a dice game on the Av”, L murders Chuck in cold blood in order to steal his half of the loot. The trend that is appearing throughout all these songs is that, in addition to their horrific depictions of deplorable behaviour, there is very little sense of apology within them. Certainly, this is true of L on 'Lifestylez...'; he claims: “my moms told me to get a job: fuck that... I'd rather do another hit/I want clean clothes/mean hoes/and all that other shit”. God, I love Big L.
4. MORALITY
Grateful Dead – Me & My Uncle
This is a strange one, I know, and essentially, all of the songs on this list could have come under this category. However, it seemed right to have one entry that encapsulated all the negativity we are promoting here and, basically, just celebrated doing the wrong thing, morally speaking. 'Me & My Uncle' really does have it all; gambling, alcohol, cheating, lying, gun violence, greed, theft and the murder of a family member. I know I could have gone with 'Mmm-Bop' by Hanson in order to combine all these elements, but I just prefer the Grateful Dead. Basically, our narrator (who is, I suppose, John Phillips of the Mamas & The Papas, who actually wrote the song) tells of how, having conned, escaped – and murdered – some irate cowboys, he and his uncle “high-tail it down to Mexico”. 'That's not too bad', you're probably thinking; 'that just sounds like a normal Boxing Day to me'. However, greed gets the better of our cowboy (“those cowboys... I love their gold”) and he ends the song by claiming, “I love my uncle... taught me all I know/taught me so well/I grabbed that gold/and I left his dead ass there by the side of the road”. This is so gloriously unethical that it makes Big L's murder of Chuck look positively tame.
5. SEXISM/MISTREATMENT OF WOMEN
CocoRosie – By Your Side
This is another weird category and, to match it, a very weird – and very beautiful - song. While the obvious choices for this category would have been songs like 'Fuck You' by Dr. Dre and 'Domestic Abuse' by RZA, 'By Your Side' has a hauntingly bleak innocence to it that is far more powerful – and negative – than the shouting and leering that traditional hip hop sexism offers. The track is sung by a woman (Bianca) who seems to playing the role of a naïve and desperately downtrodden housewife. She pleads quietly with her man to allow her to be his slave, essentially; “I'll make your bed/And cook your food”, she says and goes on to claim, “I'll never cheat/I'll be the best girl you'll ever meet”. This is basically a woman acting out the traditional male fantasy of what a wife should be; she is meek and subservient and perfectly willing to dedicate her life to making sure that her husband has clean floors, good food and is tucked up warmly in bed. The song takes an even darker turn halfway through as Bianca promises “I'll wear your black eyes/bake you apple pies/I won't ask why... I'll try not to cry”. Clearly, since this song is the creation of two women – and is, most probably, a satirical look at the type of men that this would really appeal to – there is no ACTUAL sexism meant here, but still, it's pretty damn negative and that is what this list is all about!
Anyway, that's it for now. More top 5s coming up shortly. Word to your uncle,
Thomas Troublesome AKA Tha Dubplate Rapist
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